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Believe the Bad – 37/52 Ways to Stop Pedophiles

September 10, 2013

We all want to believe the good. It takes our fear away. If we believe the bad, the world is a scary place.

37:52 imageEveryday there are news stories of arrests for CSA, kiddie porn collection and child porn creation. Too rarely, there are followup news reports of a conviction or plea bargain – release for lack of sticky evidence is not usually newsworthy. The accused slinks back into society.

Such news makes us think, for a moment about the men arrested and the innocent young victims.

The news we don’t see is the shadow of pain a pedophile leaves for his family, friends and coworkers when his crime is discovered. It can be emotionally and financially devastating. Families dissolve. All around him, people are left shaking their heads and saying, ‘I can’t believe it!’

A heart-tugging example of close friends blindsided by the underbelly of one of their group was expressed on Lettes Chat this week. Listen to this Blog Talk Radio conversation, and learn how people strive to support their buddies even when red flags are waving.

Hear how mothers who are deep in love with pedophiles give them every chance to deny their guilt. Over and over even when they hear wise advice about protecting their children.

We want to trust. Trust feels good.

We want to believe we know the people in our lives. But we get confused sometimes – like a young woman on TV who gushed: ‘You can’t judge a book by its cover. You have to take people at face value.’ Did you catch the conflict in these two statements? Or did you just nod your head to both of them? Her words give new meaning to air-quotes. Empty air. Is our well-intentioned trust as empty?

When we doubt someone because of their quirky ways, and stories that don’t always add up, we’ll take great care to be accepting. Our internal stories turn the pedophile into someone who just drinks too much, a loner, a charming guy who can’t get a break, a gay man, a computer geek…someone who simply loves children.

Neighbors and friends left honest comments after Brian Harling was arrested, telling us they may have missed the signs because he was so good at covering up.

He wasn’t that good. He left clues such as telling a single mom that her toddler has seductive eyes. The mom noticed, believed the bad, and kept a close eye on him. Soon, proof of his obsession was in the palm of her hand. She didn’t give him another chance to show his true colors. She called the police and broke his cover.

Believing the bad is frightening. Our fear is a pedophile’s biggest weapon against justice. Our fear protects him.

Bad is out there. Everyday.

Yesterday, a Wisconsin man, David A. Weaver, 50, faced federal charges for convincing hundreds of pre-teens/teens to pose, strip and do sexual acts for him on Skype. Weaver had over 2,000 videos and more than 250,000 lines of Skype messaging – his successful tool of charm.

Weaver has a wife, a child and a home with deep roots in his community. What do you bet there are some locals who still don’t believe he could do such a thing?

Believe it. Make it stop.

4 Comments leave one →
  1. September 11, 2013 9:43 am

    What a beautifully written piece! All is so true.
    The good news is, the more we talk about sexual abuse, the less access and offender has. We can make our communities safe for kids- off limits to abusers. What it takes is being willing to talk about this crime and speak up when we see warning signs!

  2. Willing permalink
    January 8, 2014 9:23 am

    I pray everyone that has evidence turns it in, the is the key to safety for children. The biggest crime about the tons of child abuse going on, is that families protect the perverts!!! Yes for hundreds of years this has been the big bad family shame, well F Shame!!!! Do the right thing and turn them in! Stop the circle of shame where one or more victims grows up to do the same from lack of help! Love the children more then the husbands, fathers, brothers, sisters and family friends that abuse them!
    As for Brian Harling, I am sure more then one in his family knew and yet their fear of shaming their families allowed him to go on abusing! Families must cooperate, they are key to stopping this sad horrific traumatizing abuse of ‘our’ children!

    • January 8, 2014 11:57 am

      Well said… families are key. Yes, we must love and respect the child more than the abuser. A good first step is believing that someone we care about and upon whom we depend has taken advantage of our trust. The abuser fractured the family, not the person who discovers the abuse and takes action.

  3. Too Many Perverts Live Free permalink
    November 3, 2014 6:46 pm

    Well round one was won! The evidence Brian Harling tried to get thrown out stays!! So instead of admitting his guilt and taking his punishment…what does the pervert jerk do…he fires his lawyer to cost us more of our tax dollars and delay the trail! Why? We’ll never know…I suspect two things either the poor lawyer told his to admit his perversions…. that he can’t defend the obvious proof of his crimes and Brian The Pervert Harling thinks he can win anyway (in his head he didn’t do anything wrong, kids want to be raped in his sick world) or he’s afraid to face his family when he goes to court in their state next. Either way I can’t believe we the tax payers have had to support him and his lawyer for a year and half and it’s far from over! Justice is not swift nor fair to victims!

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