Believe the Bad – 37/52 Ways to Stop Pedophiles
We all want to believe the good. It takes our fear away. If we believe the bad, the world is a scary place.
Everyday there are news stories of arrests for CSA, kiddie porn collection and child porn creation. Too rarely, there are followup news reports of a conviction or plea bargain – release for lack of sticky evidence is not usually newsworthy. The accused slinks back into society.
Such news makes us think, for a moment about the men arrested and the innocent young victims.
The news we don’t see is the shadow of pain a pedophile leaves for his family, friends and coworkers when his crime is discovered. It can be emotionally and financially devastating. Families dissolve. All around him, people are left shaking their heads and saying, ‘I can’t believe it!’
A heart-tugging example of close friends blindsided by the underbelly of one of their group was expressed on Lettes Chat this week. Listen to this Blog Talk Radio conversation, and learn how people strive to support their buddies even when red flags are waving.
Hear how mothers who are deep in love with pedophiles give them every chance to deny their guilt. Over and over even when they hear wise advice about protecting their children.
We want to trust. Trust feels good.
We want to believe we know the people in our lives. But we get confused sometimes – like a young woman on TV who gushed: ‘You can’t judge a book by its cover. You have to take people at face value.’ Did you catch the conflict in these two statements? Or did you just nod your head to both of them? Her words give new meaning to air-quotes. Empty air. Is our well-intentioned trust as empty?
When we doubt someone because of their quirky ways, and stories that don’t always add up, we’ll take great care to be accepting. Our internal stories turn the pedophile into someone who just drinks too much, a loner, a charming guy who can’t get a break, a gay man, a computer geek…someone who simply loves children.
Neighbors and friends left honest comments after Brian Harling was arrested, telling us they may have missed the signs because he was so good at covering up.
He wasn’t that good. He left clues such as telling a single mom that her toddler has seductive eyes. The mom noticed, believed the bad, and kept a close eye on him. Soon, proof of his obsession was in the palm of her hand. She didn’t give him another chance to show his true colors. She called the police and broke his cover.
Believing the bad is frightening. Our fear is a pedophile’s biggest weapon against justice. Our fear protects him.
Bad is out there. Everyday.
Yesterday, a Wisconsin man, David A. Weaver, 50, faced federal charges for convincing hundreds of pre-teens/teens to pose, strip and do sexual acts for him on Skype. Weaver had over 2,000 videos and more than 250,000 lines of Skype messaging – his successful tool of charm.
Weaver has a wife, a child and a home with deep roots in his community. What do you bet there are some locals who still don’t believe he could do such a thing?
Believe it. Make it stop.